You're not good enough to be an a-hole.

Tonight we watched a CFL game. My original plan was to post about that, but there were too many Canadians watching and talking at the same time: an aunt, uncle, sister, mother and husband. I couldn't keep up if I tried. At half-time of that game, we peeked at the first 10 minutes of a recorded episode of Hard Knocks.

In the opening segment, a special teams coach was giving it to the players, reeeeallly giving it to them. "Like a man. I'll say it to your face!" And then a lot of #@*&!%, &@$%#*!!!  And more, %$@*%&$@!!!  The best was, "You're not good enough to be an asshole!"

J - HA! I'm going to use that one.  (And then posts it as his Facebook status)
A - I wish I could talk like that sometimes to students in my office! See those grades!?! Do you!? You're not good enough to skip class. And, by the way, $@*%*&!!!

Stay $%*&$@! Tuned, you @*% $!&@!$!

Boardwalk Empire starts soon.

The MTV 2014 Women and Metros Music Awards

Last night I flipped to the 2014 MTV VMAs while J watched the Riders defeat BC on the iPad. But, that doesn't mean my hubby didn't make comments that showed his age, which is too-old-for-the-current-VMAs years old.

Considering the fact that I was watching an award show without a twitter feed (Whaaa?), surprisingly I just sat and watched and didn't say much, except:

A - Ohhh. I like this song.
A - Ok, I'll go shower after this. . .
A - Wait, I'll watch this and then shower.
A - Man, there's a lot of boob tonight. Guess that's the style. 

Which was followed by a reply:

J - Thats not even good boob. Who is that?
A - Demi Lavato.
J - Exactly.

Sorry, Demi. I thought you rocked the deep, wide open, plunging neckline, and Kim, too. So after a run of comments regarding 5 Seconds of Summer and Sam Smith:

J - Who is this teen so full of angst? Wasn't this a band called Plain White T's? (Proceeds to mumble-sing, Hey There Delilah)
J - (After a moment with Sam Smith explaining his muse - his life) Why do I want to hear his story? 

 (Ten mins. later) 

J - Who's that? Oh yeah, the guy whose music is his story.

A - Ok, I'm going to watch Maroon 5 and then head up to shower.

Maroon 5 comes on, and Adam Levine hits the first notes of Maps that's in an octave I can't even hit when I stub my toe:

J - Where are all the men in music today? Ok, I'm done. (A whole 2 seconds pass). Why are the all pansies? Ok. Done.

I get up to leave, but Miley just won video of the year and sends some guy up to accept for her.

A - Nope. I HAVE to see what she's up to sending this guy up there.
J - (As Miley dramatically huffy puff cries, I think) Did she just wipe away mouth crud? She has mouth crud.

Finally, I get up to head upstairs.

J - I only liked Iggy Azalea. And I don't even like how she pronounces some words. 

Stay Tuned.
He's only going to get older and less hip.

OITNB, wait, what?

While we sat around waiting for the new episode of Hard Knocks, J asks if I want to watch an episode of Orange. We are trying to get through season 2.

I remind you, this was his suggestion. I don't even need to tell you which episode - completely irrelevant. J probably doesn't even know which episode we watched. And, there are no spoilers here.

J - Wait. Is she free? Where is she going?

J - What happened? He got shot?

J - Hold on. I didn't have my glasses on. Who was that?

Yep. So that's it. Glad he suggested that WE watch the show.

Stay tuned. You never know what J will want to fake-watch next!

P.S.  J was out of the room when HK began. It was about two whole seconds into the opening surgery scene.

J - Did I miss anything?
A - It seriously just started.
J - Who is that?
A - It JUST started.
J - So they didn't say who that is?
A - (sigh). I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.

Hard Knocks and balls (not footballs).

About 25-30 minutes into episode two of Hard Knocks, I decided I didn't have much content for a blog post. But then . . . balls. And, not footballs. A rookie (Ricardo Allen) tells a camera about his balls. He got hit in the nuts (his words) during training camp, and one of them grew about four-times the normal size. And he was giggly about it, which meant we, a couple of thirty-somethings who normally giggle like nine-year-old boys at ball jokes, should have been giggly, didn't have much to say.

In the next segment, the narrator states, "Of course sometimes a big pair can come in handy." The rookie and his girlfriend went zip-lining. And he wore. . . well:

A - Speaking of balls, you have to have some pretty big ones to wear that outfit.
J - (nods) And to button to the top button.

What you cannot see in that picture are his navy Superman socks paired with neon tennis shoes. Because why not zip-line in a Hawaiian shirt, superman socks, and neon kicks with a strap holding you by the balls, after you have been nicknamed "Big Balls" for having swollen balls.

And that was it; kind of disappointing.  Except for when J rewound the balls segment to watch the rookie say balls and giggle, again.

Stay tuned,
A and J

Romantic comedy night (my choice).

I asked my husband to watch Crazy, Stupid, Love. with me last night.


After only two Jacob Palmer scenes:

J - What's his story? I already don't like him.

When Cal is moving out and giving instructions on how to care for the lawn:
(Almost simultaneously)

A - You would be sad to leave your yard behind.
J - I bet he's sad he has to leave his yard.

A - You can have it. I'm not staying.
J - You got it all planned out already, huh?

Then, after this exchange:

Cal Weaver: I miss you, Em. I made an effort when we were younger, didn't I? I mean, miniature golf and dancing. You were such a great dancer.
Emily Weaver: I had to be, you were such a good miniature golfer.
Cal Weaver: I just, I don't know, I guess I got lazy. I got...I got boring, is what I got.

J - Are you making me watch this for a reason? Did I get boring? (as he's folding towels)
A - Nooooo.
(and then we went to bed at 9:30pm)

Stay tuned.
I get to watch one of the Star Wars movies next; the one that comes after the last one he asked me to watch (about a year ago). . . can't wait.

A and J
(photos from Huffington Post)

Maybe you'll giggle, too.

Welcome to A and J's world of conversation. . . while we watch things. As I would sit and watch The Voice, my husband, who claimed he wasn't watching and was opening, sorting, organizing his sports card collection, decided he had some input about what he was hearing on the show. Only slightly annoyed, it mostly made me laugh (even though I didn't want to because I usually disagreed with his opinion). Then, I noticed that while he was watching, I don't know, the Jays or the Roughriders, I certainly had some opinions of my own.

I think we're funny. So if anything, this blog is just an archive of our conversations for me to look back on when I need to giggle. Try it, maybe you'll giggle, too.

Stay tuned,
A and J